THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA OMG. I’M DYING.

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA OMG. I’M DYING.

(via witchofthewasted)

Posted: Sat August 13th, 2011 at 2:55pm
Originally posted by assholleee.
Notes: 523813
  1. albinoroadkill reblogged this from electric-diamondz
  2. tyraqueenbanks reblogged this from sugarhoneybeehair
  3. deadlyrobit reblogged this from mlawwll
  4. sugarhoneybeehair reblogged this from electric-diamondz and added:
    I love this post…its encouraging in a way
  5. babososguapos reblogged this from electric-diamondz
  6. electric-diamondz reblogged this from hey-pissant
  7. sammysaysyes reblogged this from jeancantouchmybean
  8. quspeaks reblogged this from angelwingsandimagines
  9. sassykassi93 reblogged this from single-moment-of-insanity
  10. bitter-taste-of-unripe-peaches reblogged this from l1ttl3-d4rk-bl00d
  11. tigaroni1357 reblogged this from clurbur02
  12. tumblingdownthebunnyhole reblogged this from angelwingsandimagines
  13. superwholock-101 reblogged this from angelwingsandimagines
  14. angelwingsandimagines reblogged this from randombabyducks
  15. wifi-over-sleep reblogged this from taylorrreedus
  16. s2rtis reblogged this from janellacus
  17. ahighfunctioningsociopathiclover reblogged this from fantasies-and-temptations
  18. taylorrreedus reblogged this from clurbur02
  19. clurbur02 reblogged this from tea-of-tea
  20. rocketship-forest reblogged this from janellacus
  21. janellacus reblogged this from this-is-gallifrey-no-more and added:
    Deborah Morgan’s wedding vows.
  22. this-is-gallifrey-no-more reblogged this from castielangelofthetrenchcoats
  23. dreaming--insteadof--sleeping reblogged this from loveilluminatestheblind
  24. loveilluminatestheblind reblogged this from whenyoutubemeetsthevamps
  25. apervertedprincess reblogged this from hella-animalcrossing
  26. damnitfandom reblogged this from do-he-got-tha-booty
  27. icouldreallybetryingharder reblogged this from walkstothememorial
  28. lebeaureve08 reblogged this from walkstothememorial
  29. 4muses reblogged this from dropdeadesu
  30. lexi3paramore3love reblogged this from neumerator
  31. walkstothememorial reblogged this from pastthemirror
  32. acidsaturn reblogged this from calicurvygirl
  33. dramaticallyawesome reblogged this from ppyajunebug